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Managing Online Conversations
Our Creative Conversations Series Continues
Submit your questions now!
by Anjali Mullanyon Feb 7, 2013 at 1:34 PM
Joining us to answer your questions: Tammy Gordon, Director of Social Communications and Strategy at AARP. The chat starts at 12pm E.T -- get your questions in now using the "Make A Comment" box below!
Learn more about the art of managing conversation online on Fast Company:
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Creative dialogue can reinvent your business, your brand, and your career. Join Fast Company on a multi-platform exploration of the art of conversation.
We're kicking things off with live salons right here inside the issue -- please join us at noon E.T. on Thursday, January 31st for a live conversation about the art of asking good questions. We're very fortunate to have some great guests lined up: Meg Robertson, producer at HuffPost Live; Lara Setrakian, former Middle East correspondent and founder of Syria Deeply; Faisal Hoque, Founder & CEO of BTM Corporation; Reuters wealth editor Lauren Young; and Ekaterina Walter, the social media innovation brains at Intel.
You can start submitting your questions (and your advice!) ahead of time by clicking the "Make a comment" box above. -
Fast Company contributor Allison Graham compiled this list of questions to help you make meaningful small talk at networking events (something that I, if I'm honest, often dread -- it can be scary!)...the following is reprinted with permission, what do you think of Allison's advice?:
"What’s your connection to the event?" This question can uncover mutual contacts and usually leads to a more robust answer than if you asked the typical “Have you been to this event before?”
"What’s keeping you busy when you’re not at events like this or at work?" This question gives the encouragement necessary for the person to share his/her passions and outside interests. It is an excellent way to add some enthusiasm into a conversation that has hit a lull, especially if he/she would prefer to be doing that activity at that moment.
"Are you getting away this summer?" This question can lead to conversations about family, reveal special interests and, if you like talking about travel, it’s a sure-fire way to keep a conversation interesting.
"Are you working on any charity initiatives?" This question makes it easy to launch into a deeper connection. If they’re not involved with any projects, they often share reasons which is usually revealing, and if they are doing something of value they will be more than happy to share.
"How did you come to be in your line of work?" For some, the path to where they are today can be quite an interesting ordeal. Having a chance to revisit their story to success can leave helpful clues along the way as to who they are and what makes them tick.This question gives the encouragement necessary for the person to share his/her passions and outside interests. It is an excellent way to add some enthusiasm into a conversation that has hit a lull, especially if he/she would prefer to be doing that activity at that moment. -
Hi everyone, we've got a fantastic line-up of experts here to take your questions on question-asking! Use the "Make a comment" box/bar above to submit your questions to our panelists! Thanks to Meg, Lara, Ekaterina, Faisal and Lauren for joining us today!
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I'm Lauren Young. I'm the Wealth editor at Reuters. I'm the traffic cop for all things related to money at Reuters. And I'm a de facto financial adviser to friends, family and colleagues. I also have a show on Reuters TV called Money Clip. My motto: I don't ask a lot of questions. I demand a lot of answers.
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Hi there -- I'm Meg Robertson, and I'm a segment producer at HuffPost Live, the new streaming network at The Huffington Post. As a journalist I am always looking to tell the stories of people who don't have a voice -- and encourage people to have real conversations around their passions and interests. So I'm excited to have this conversation here at Fast Company today!
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I am a devoted student of 'life', entrepreneurship, spirituality, and human relations. I left my birth-land Bangladesh at the age of 17. Since then I call America my home! Today I lead a company - BTM Corporation that provides software & solutions for innovation and growth management. I also try to write, travel, and constantly facilitate 'thinking' through my think-tank the BTM Institute. Here is my story - www.faisalhoque.com.
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Hi! I'm Lara Setrakian, the founder of Syria Deeply and a longtime foreign correspondent. Personal passion: the fusion of news and technology.
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Ekaterina will be contributing in a bit, as well. Welcome, everyone! Let's get started, we've got some great questions in the queue from our readers.
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What is your favorite question to ask someone when you want to find out how they think?
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I usually ask them -
1) what they are trying to do?
2) why does it matter to them?
3) do they really know who they are? -
My favorite question to figure out how someone thinks? It has to be something they haven't heard before. So, as a journalist when I'm preparing for an interview with someone, I always look for small personal details that I can weave into questions. Everything from where people went to school, to where they grew up, to whether or not they've been working on their tennis game can provide instant connections, trust and insight when you're just starting to talk with someone.
I also recommend that people use social media to find out what people have been thinking about -- I can't tell you how many times I've used, "you know, I saw you just Tweeted about this" and people are so flattered that you know that -- they open up! -
You have to be careful not to put bias in questions.
So don't say: what do you think of the crappy weather. Better to ask...how does this weather compare to London.
The hardest thing about asking good questions is actually not the question. It's listening to the answer.
It's okay to be quiet. Embrace the pauses. Don't interrupt
(which is incredibly hard for me).
I also find that it's a good idea to warm people up. Never ask the BIG question first. Start small. -
Hello everyone. Ekaterina here. I am a social media innovator at Intel and an author of a best seller "Think Like Zuck". Happy to be here with you today.
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(Meg makes a great point. The better informed you are about the person you are talking to, the better the conversation. People love to talk about: kids, pets, sports, alma maters.)
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How do you keep a conversation on topic?
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Be polite and firm. Such as: "I'd love to chat with you about the Super Bowl, but your thoughts on global warming will really help us push the agenda forward." And then you ask a sharp follow up question.
Few conversations are linear, so don't be discouraged. -
Keeping a conversation on-topic can be important at meetings and from a journalistic perspective when you only have a limited amount of time to speak with someone. In the beginning of a conversation, I think it can be valuable to make a bit of small talk and discuss other topics first, then dig into the issue. You can even set the rules slightly, saying "I only have about 15 minutes and I have about ten things I want to ask you," and then get into it from there. Set the roadmap to help the conversation stay on track.
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Gentle steering. I rarely interrupt an answer, unless it's going way off or we're very pressed for time. I think it's important to listen completely, then bring the speaker back to the focal issue.
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If it's a business situation - you need define 2/3 things as you communicate first. Such as 1) what's the purpose of the conversation; 2) what are you trying to do together; 3) What the concrete next steps that will move things forward. And perhaps the most important thing to remember that no one has unlimited time (including yourself).
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Personal or professional - for conversations to be meaningful - they need to be thoughtful, honest, and understandable.
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Faisal, you really ask people if they really know who they are? Do you get a positive response to this question?
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All depends on when you are asking them - I meant it in a broader context. It applies if you want to know how someone really think or what they are made off...
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How do you deal with questions you should ask, but know a source is not going to answer? I am always worried about either sounding ignorant for not knowing there is a reason they won't/can't answer the question and coming back to my editor having not asked it at all.
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I ask it with sincerity and respect, then just brace myself for the rejection. Sometimes it falls flat. Sometimes you get a surprising answer. It's uncomfortable, but you've got to put it out there.
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Never be afraid to ask a question. If it feels uncomfortable, it means you are onto something! (I learned that from James B. Stewart, the Pulitzer-Prize winning writer, a former colleague.)
But you NEVER ask the "money" question first. Save it for the middle or end of the conversation. And keep asking the question in different ways.
Such as...I know you've been spending a lot of time in California. Have you seen Mark Zuckerberg? (This is an actual example, btw.) Okay, so you won't confirm that, but did you meet with anyone wearing a hoodie? -
Note: If you have the luxury of meeting someone in person, you can glean a lot by their response/body language.
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I love what Lauren said earlier in the chat, which is never ask the big question first. If I'm about to have a difficult interview with a source, I let them know exactly who I am and why I think that getting their idea and story out there is so important. If you're just getting started in journalism, work with more senior members of your team who have asked the "tough questions" before -- or a colleague who can help you role-play the interview before you do it. It feels silly, but I see it almost as practice for an important preinterview with a key guest.
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On "worrying about sounding ignorant," remember that it's actually okay to not know everything. At HuffPost Live we try to use the approach of "conversations" versus "interviews." I think that framing helps when we approach guests to join us, knowing that their voice will be heard.
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One thing that I love that Lara said: "ask it with sincerity and respect." I think that being sincere about what you're trying to accomplish with the conversation is always key. If this person is not able to talk due to political, privacy or safety reasons, they're sometimes willing to point you to someone who is more free to speak. Those recommendations have been incredibly helpful for me in recent months.
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How do you get people to go past the "sound bite" answer and really answer the deeper questions?
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I let them run with the sound bite, then I ask again, with a slightly different angle. Especially when the subject seems super media trained, it's a matter of patiently hearing them out, then asking for the next-level insight.
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Many people been coached by their PR folks or they have a script, that's for sure.
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Getting into that "personal" realm as quick as possible helps warm them up. Once you've established a good connection point, it's a lot easier to get past sound bites. Even if the subject reverts back to sound bites after you've discussed your favorite Chicago steakhouse, you can weave in a detail, like...so the next time you are doing an earnings call from Chicago, will you order the prime rib or lamb chop? And when are those earnings revisions expected?
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There's been a lot of talk about and support for introverts lately, which is good, because I am one. :) But as an introvert, I still need to promote myself and get noticed in the workplace. How can I better insert myself into a conversation? And what question or questions work well for that?
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I've seen that a lot in the workspace. The best way is to speak up, and if you don't want to be seen as too aggressive say something like "have we thought about/discuss xyz before? Would it be worth exploring?"
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Even though I do a fair amount of public speaking, lead teams, and always out in the public place, I have a very hard time being in social gatherings. I have a hard time striking up a conversation with a stranger. So from that point of view, I remain and introvert. I have taken up writing as meaning of communications. It has helped to establish great conversations, relationships, and global business. Through writing more and more I can express who I am and what I stand for. That attracts the right relationships....
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When answering a question, how long should your first answer be and at what level of detail?
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Depends on the topic and the platform on which your community is hosted. Don't be afraid to foster the discussion, that's how communities are being built and trust is nurtured.
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Honestly, it depends on the question.
If it's a meaty question, it's worthy of a meaty answer. (Staying on the steak metaphor!) -
It depends on the length of time you're given. It's generally a good idea to ask the reporter how much time you have, whether they'd like you to keep the answer short.
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Then, once you know, take up as much time as you feel is natural to make your point.